Report on the Earth situation

To the head of external planning, Orion.

The work is going well. Important progress has been made in terms of vegetation. Acid rain has already devastated one fifth of the flora.

The ambient air is changing rapidly and the carbon dioxide content as well as various other gases will soon meet the required standards; soon we will be able to go out without a diving suit.

The ozone layer is also rapidly depleting and the ultraviolet rays under which we like to tan our scales are passing through the atmospheric layer more and more easily.

The greatest progress has been made with water, which now contains all the substances essential to our life form. The ambient radioactivity also reaches the desired level for our metabolism. As for man, the dominant creature on Earth, he will soon be sufficiently degenerated to no longer be able to put up any resistance.

To sum up, this planet will be perfectly habitable and adapted to our needs within the next 25 years (local time) and our installation will not pose any problem.

Everything works exactly according to plan.

Slimy greetings, CRLOPXQ

(Document stolen by Alain-Yan Mohr)